She gets out of bed yet again. She is looking for her baby's (doll) bottle. It is late, the day has been a long one. My emotions are all over the place, I feel drained and feel like I have nothing left to give. I loose my cool, I raise my voice, I tell her to go to bed, I don't want to hear about the bottle, anymore. I know you want your baby's bottle, but we are not going to look for it, it is late, I am tired, we are all tired. I want you to you to go back to your bed, NOW!
I hate myself for raising my voice with this sweet little angle, all she wants is her baby's bottle and I don't have the energy to deal with it. It feels like it is easier to yell at her to go to bed. It is hard to believe this is me, I swore I'd never do this to my baby. I'd never yell at her like my mother and father yelled at me. But here I am, doing it.... I can't stand myself doing it, this is no way to live! I crawl into bed with her, tears streaming down my face, I'm sorry sweet Bella, mommy is sorry. I don't want to yell at you, mommy is having a hard day, you did nothing wrong. You are beautiful, you are precious and you are perfect. Mommy is very tired, can we look for the bottle tomorrow? Her face lights up, she smiles and says, yes mommy as she touches my face.
I want to listen to you Bella, tomorrow will be a good day, we will listen to each other, be kind to each other and love each other. We hug and I kiss her good-night. Her eyes close as she drifts off to sleep.
What a long day it's been, my chest feels tight and my heart feels heavy. I know something has to give. Anytime I loose my cool with my little darlings, I know something is up with me and that something needs attention. I'm not sure why I feel so much today, I feel feelings that I have not yet been able to put a name on. I don't yet know what they are. I feel so off, like something isn't right. Is it just in my head or is it really true, is something wrong with me? Or am I exactly where I need to be, to do what I am doing so I can learn something from this unpleasant feeling? I'm sure there is something for me to learn. I know one thing for sure, I want to know why I yell at my children, who did nothing wrong. I swore I would never do that, I hated when my mother or father did that to me. All I wanted to do when they yelled at me was run away and hide, it made me feel useless! I don't want my children to feel that way, ever!
But why now? What triggered this whole thing? Right now I'm not sure, I'll find out though!
Feelings don't lie, there is always a reason we feel the way we do. A lot of the time the unpleasant feelings we feel is our inner child asking for attention. I have found that if I don't give her attention I start acting out towards others and I become super irritable. I begin to find ways to shut her up, because the pain is still to great to bare. A lot of us have endured much pain in our childhood. Whether it is physical or emotional pain doesn't really matter, it is all the same when it comes to healing. In my case it was emotional. Emotional abuse is tricky, it doesn't look like abuse right away because there are no immediate visible marks left behind. The damage happens on the inside first then it slowly appears on the outside in forms we mostly mistake as bad behavior or health problems.
In this particular case, My wake up call came that night when I lost my cool with my daughter, when I raised my voice my inner child raised with it, I began to feel the feelings I felt as a child when I was being yelled at and my voice was not being heard. The gut wrenching pain of not being good enough, feeling like I was just another object in the way of those whom I wanted nothing more from than knowing that I am wanted, that I am worth having around, that I am special and have a place in this world. I remembered the feeling of hopelessness that came every time someone at our house got yelled at or when I desperately wanted my voice to be heard. In the midst of raising my voice at my daughter, I was caught dead in my tracks as these feelings begin to rise within myself. Now as I look back and see the things I said to my daughter as I crawled into bed with her to comfort her, those are the exact things my inner child needed to hear from the adult me.
So as I continue to do inner child work and as I continue to re-parent my inner child in this awareness of myself and who I am, I see how my life could be completely different had I not been awakened to live in awareness of all that is in, and around me. My daughter would have gone to bed broken hearted and I would have gone to bed broken hearted not knowing anything else but that she needs to learn to listen to me because I am the adult and she is the child and children need to listen to adults. And we would continue to squash there voices just like our parents did to us. The cycle keeps going until we choose to face our own demons as adults and change the cycle of our emotional deadness.
I am convinced we are living in the Emotional Dark Age. So many of us are dead to our emotions and because of it our world is full of misery. The waking up process seems brutal but I would much rather feel then not feel. Not feeling turns us into robots and we become zombies. When we are awake to our feelings we become a much more compassionate people and a compassionate person can change the world for themselves and those around them.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Love Heals Everything
Yesterday we went for the first picking of blueberries of this summer at the Organic Farm here in our neighborhood. Oh how that place warms my heart! I am so thankful to the owners for creating such a beautiful place where we can now go with our family and enjoy picking fresh blueberries.
The women that owns the place is such a beautiful soul. I have learned over the last year to really appreciate her! I can tell that my thinking is changing, the walls that tend to separate humans from each other because of our differences in beliefs are coming down, it is much easier for me now to see someone not through the lens of beliefs that I once held but more through the lens of understanding and love. There is no judgement in love, there is only understanding.
The question I continuously asked in the past years leading up to now was; 'what is love', no, really, 'WHAT IS LOVE'? What does love look like, what does love sound like, what does love feel like? I don't remember ever experiencing true unconditional love. I had heard about it but never experienced it. There was something missing and I wanted to find it. The only kind of love I had experienced was conditional love, which isn't love at all. Conditional love is twisted and stands no chance alongside true heartfelt understanding love. Conditional love broken down is really not love at all. Does love look like this; I will love you if you do what I say and what I think you should do and if you don't do that then I cannot except you and our friendship will be hindered because of it. Much of the time when we believe this way we then go on to unconsciously seek to destroy those who do not believe like we do. Conditional love is a lie, it is cold, it is brutal, it is not love at all. This kind of thinking causes all kinds of destruction in our world.
When we meet someone who holds different beliefs then we do, let's try to remember who we are. Not one of us is more worthy of love than the other. We are all worthy of love. The human race cannot survive without love. We are fueled by the feeling of love- love is like the lifeblood of the human race. We are lost without it and we thrive when we feel it. Unconditional love is what will bring humanity back together and make us realize that we are not at all that different from each other. The only thing that separates us is our conditioned mind. Our conditioned mind holds a certain set of beliefs and when we attach ourselves to those beliefs and we allow those beliefs to become our identity it separates us from those who's beliefs are different from our own.
Becoming aware of my conditioned mind and consciously examining every single belief in my mind, asking the question, is it true, does it makes sense, does it serve me and others? If it was not true or it did not make sense, or it did not serve me or others, I let it go, I don't have time anymore to waste on those beliefs and thoughts in my mind. The bottom line is that many of the ideas I have been conditioned with in my years growing up are super destructive and don't serve me at all. However I can learn from them and because of them I am searching out a better way. The thing is I just had to become aware of that fact.
It is super difficult these days to come face to face with another human who has a different set of beliefs than our own without becoming defensive and outright angry. I challenge you to try something, only because I have tried this and it works every time. Go find someone who has opposing views to your own and be with them. Notice your thoughts about them, notice them and notice the feelings you get when you entertain those thoughts. Now just like you would drop a hot coal in your hand, drop those thoughts about that person. Now see them, just see them without your earlier thoughts of judgement about them. Notice that they are just like you another human being with feelings and needs, If you do this with an open mind and heart you will begin to feel compassion for them a you will begin to realize they are not any different then you. Underneath all the different beliefs and idea's we are all more alike then we tend to think. We are all searching for meaning in life, we are all searching for love, we are all searching for understanding, it is just hard for us to see that because most of us are so conditioned into a certain set of beliefs that we don't see anything else. It is only when we become aware of our thoughts and our conditioned mind that we begin to see the illusion of separation that our conditioned minds create.
Unconditional love will heal the world. When we learn this kind of love, nothing else will matter as much. After all is said and done we will realize that we are LOVE, hopefully we will come to this realization before we have completely destroyed each other. Love is what all the great teacher of old have taught but most of their message was distorted by someone who was unaware of what the messenger was trying to bring forth.
So as I gazed into the face of this beautiful women at this beautiful place in this beautiful valley on this beautiful earth, unknowingly she taught me more then she will ever know, just by conversating with me about the happenings of life. I have fallen in love with the human race all over again. We are living in amazing times!
The women that owns the place is such a beautiful soul. I have learned over the last year to really appreciate her! I can tell that my thinking is changing, the walls that tend to separate humans from each other because of our differences in beliefs are coming down, it is much easier for me now to see someone not through the lens of beliefs that I once held but more through the lens of understanding and love. There is no judgement in love, there is only understanding.
The question I continuously asked in the past years leading up to now was; 'what is love', no, really, 'WHAT IS LOVE'? What does love look like, what does love sound like, what does love feel like? I don't remember ever experiencing true unconditional love. I had heard about it but never experienced it. There was something missing and I wanted to find it. The only kind of love I had experienced was conditional love, which isn't love at all. Conditional love is twisted and stands no chance alongside true heartfelt understanding love. Conditional love broken down is really not love at all. Does love look like this; I will love you if you do what I say and what I think you should do and if you don't do that then I cannot except you and our friendship will be hindered because of it. Much of the time when we believe this way we then go on to unconsciously seek to destroy those who do not believe like we do. Conditional love is a lie, it is cold, it is brutal, it is not love at all. This kind of thinking causes all kinds of destruction in our world.
When we meet someone who holds different beliefs then we do, let's try to remember who we are. Not one of us is more worthy of love than the other. We are all worthy of love. The human race cannot survive without love. We are fueled by the feeling of love- love is like the lifeblood of the human race. We are lost without it and we thrive when we feel it. Unconditional love is what will bring humanity back together and make us realize that we are not at all that different from each other. The only thing that separates us is our conditioned mind. Our conditioned mind holds a certain set of beliefs and when we attach ourselves to those beliefs and we allow those beliefs to become our identity it separates us from those who's beliefs are different from our own.
Becoming aware of my conditioned mind and consciously examining every single belief in my mind, asking the question, is it true, does it makes sense, does it serve me and others? If it was not true or it did not make sense, or it did not serve me or others, I let it go, I don't have time anymore to waste on those beliefs and thoughts in my mind. The bottom line is that many of the ideas I have been conditioned with in my years growing up are super destructive and don't serve me at all. However I can learn from them and because of them I am searching out a better way. The thing is I just had to become aware of that fact.
It is super difficult these days to come face to face with another human who has a different set of beliefs than our own without becoming defensive and outright angry. I challenge you to try something, only because I have tried this and it works every time. Go find someone who has opposing views to your own and be with them. Notice your thoughts about them, notice them and notice the feelings you get when you entertain those thoughts. Now just like you would drop a hot coal in your hand, drop those thoughts about that person. Now see them, just see them without your earlier thoughts of judgement about them. Notice that they are just like you another human being with feelings and needs, If you do this with an open mind and heart you will begin to feel compassion for them a you will begin to realize they are not any different then you. Underneath all the different beliefs and idea's we are all more alike then we tend to think. We are all searching for meaning in life, we are all searching for love, we are all searching for understanding, it is just hard for us to see that because most of us are so conditioned into a certain set of beliefs that we don't see anything else. It is only when we become aware of our thoughts and our conditioned mind that we begin to see the illusion of separation that our conditioned minds create.
Unconditional love will heal the world. When we learn this kind of love, nothing else will matter as much. After all is said and done we will realize that we are LOVE, hopefully we will come to this realization before we have completely destroyed each other. Love is what all the great teacher of old have taught but most of their message was distorted by someone who was unaware of what the messenger was trying to bring forth.
So as I gazed into the face of this beautiful women at this beautiful place in this beautiful valley on this beautiful earth, unknowingly she taught me more then she will ever know, just by conversating with me about the happenings of life. I have fallen in love with the human race all over again. We are living in amazing times!
Monday, July 4, 2016
Life
When we come from a past where we never experienced what being loved, appreciated and supported feels like, we are prone to push away anyone that shows us any kind love and appreciation. The first thought that tends to come to mind when we encounter someone who genuinely cares about us is 'what do they want from me'. They must want something from me and they are just being nice long enough to get what they want then leave me hanging. This was me, I trusted no one. I believed everyone was out to get something from me. Interestingly enough I would attract those very people into my life, until the day I became aware of what was going on in my head.
Not long ago we met some amazingly beautiful people who I know love and care for me and my family more then anyone ever has. It feels so incredible yet so strange and scary at the same time. It is the most interesting thing I've every experienced. As I remove myself from the place I used to be and I become the observer of my thoughts and feelings instead of becoming my thoughts and feelings, I watch and I see how this could've all played out and how it is now playing out instead, because of me being more aware and more in touch with myself. Going through this amazing experience it makes me wonder how many times I sabotaged a perfectly good friendship with someone who genuinely cared about me all because of thoughts I believed in my head.
Our conditioned mind will hold us hostage as long as we let it. You are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are not you. You are so much more then your thoughts. You don't need to identify with or become your thoughts. You can change your world by becoming aware of your thoughts. You are not your past. You are amazing, we are all amazing! Who are you?
This physical experience we call life is the most amazing gift we could ever hope for. We tend to spend so much time wishing it away because of the pain we all feel here at times, but the pain is necessary for us to experience any kind of joy. Without the pain we would never know what we want. The pain we all suffered at some point in our life was their to teach us something. It creates in us a desire for something we don't have. In my case the pain of not feeling love, appreciation and support made me seek after it. I used to blame all the people who I thought were suppose to love and support me in this life but now I am thankful for them they were there as messengers to push me towards the path I came here to live. Life is beautiful, sometime it feels like hell but without that feeling how could we ever appreciate the feeling of heavenly bliss? I have found a new love for this experience called life. I hope you do too!
Thursday, June 16, 2016
First Try At Poetry
The pain runs deep
It has no name
Sometimes it feels like
I'm being played in a game
I want to run
I want to flee
But where can I go
That it doesn't follow me?
You grip my heart
You pull and you twist
What do you want from me
What do I miss?
It has no name
It comes and it goes
Where to? Nobody knows.
You are a symptom
Of something more
What are you here for?
What have you come to share
I know you have a message
But could you take it easy
The feelings you bring
They make me feel a bit queasy.
Let me catch my breath
From the stabbing feeling you bring
And let me gather my thoughts
And let's sort through this thing.
This thing that causes the pain
What is it's name?
I feel so alone
Like no one understands
I've tried to share
But I'm so scared
So many have left me
It feels like no one cares.
No one to fight for me
Or do I even let them try
Its so confusing
To be left high and dry.
Sometimes I love the message you bring
If it were not for the message
I'd be left with a sting
I understand the pain now
It comes and it never leaves me the same
It has taught me so much
It makes me feel insane.
You have taught me your name
You have played a good game
But I no longer run from you
Instead I stay and I stand for My Name.
Your name is Rejection
And you have yet to learn mine.
An original by Clara Byler
It has no name
Sometimes it feels like
I'm being played in a game
I want to run
I want to flee
But where can I go
That it doesn't follow me?
You grip my heart
You pull and you twist
What do you want from me
What do I miss?
It has no name
It comes and it goes
Where to? Nobody knows.
You are a symptom
Of something more
What are you here for?
What have you come to share
I know you have a message
But could you take it easy
The feelings you bring
They make me feel a bit queasy.
Let me catch my breath
From the stabbing feeling you bring
And let me gather my thoughts
And let's sort through this thing.
This thing that causes the pain
What is it's name?
I feel so alone
Like no one understands
I've tried to share
But I'm so scared
So many have left me
It feels like no one cares.
No one to fight for me
Or do I even let them try
Its so confusing
To be left high and dry.
Sometimes I love the message you bring
If it were not for the message
I'd be left with a sting
I understand the pain now
It comes and it never leaves me the same
It has taught me so much
It makes me feel insane.
You have taught me your name
You have played a good game
But I no longer run from you
Instead I stay and I stand for My Name.
Your name is Rejection
And you have yet to learn mine.
An original by Clara Byler
Friday, June 10, 2016
Believing Thoughts
Yesterday was a rough day for me,I became super overwhelmed with everything that needed to be done in the garden. I don't like to live that way, it saps the joy right out of everything I love doing.
There is nothing quite like the magic that happens in a fresh new day, especially when coming from a day where everything seemed to have been going a little bit off the wall. Today can be whatever I choose it to be.
I am finding this idea to be true more and more. I've heard it said; Our thoughts are recycled they come and they go. It is only when we believe and attach ourselves to our thoughts that we become those thoughts that we believe. We literally become the thoughts that we believe.
For example, yesterday I was working in the garden and the thought came to my head. "It's time to get everything transplanted into the garden because time is running out and it's getting late in the season, soon it'll be to late. I began to believe the thought. While it may be true that it's getting later in the planting season, what am I going to do about it, what can I do about it? After all it was the perfect day to be in the garden, planting. I just believed that I was late and needed to get in done quick!
There are two ways I can go at that moment the thought came. I can go into high gear mode and create a frenzy scene around me or I can put one foot in front of the other and enjoy the process, trusting that everything is just as it should be. I unconsciously decided to choose high gear mode, (this used to be my life daily, not so much anymore, but this way of doing things is still somewhat stuck in my subconscious mind to react this way, which is why I say I chose it unconsciously, it's like a program, it does what it has been programmed to do). Most of the day I was thinking things like I have to do this, I need to get that done, I need to get this done, my house is a mess it needs my attention, my kid's are hungry they need food, they are crying I need to spend time with them they need me. Everything and everyone was calling my name by the end of the day I was almost in tears! It was such a frustrating and stressful feeling! These are the exact words that came out of my mouth at Abe; You need me, the kids need me the garden needs me and I need myself and I can't do it all!!! I need to be with me and the garden right now and I need you to take the kids right now, I need some space. I was in a frenzy, I was loosing my cool, I was making everyone suffer including myself all because I chose to believe the thought that it is getting to late in the season and I need to fix it!! Fixing things in this way never works out well, it might get things somewhat done, but it also brings suffering. As the end of the day as the evening unfolded and the dust began to settle I began to come to my senses again I was beginning to see and understand the bigger picture and what had happened to me and I began seeing the results of my actions. The things that are most important, the one's I hold dearest in my heart were suffering because of the choice I made to believe the thought and then take the path I did because of believing it. As I sat there rocking my son to sleep at the end of the day I help him close to me realizing how much of the day I missed with him because of the frenzy I had been in. I was here but I was not present in the moment. In my scurry to fix things I had totally missed out on living in the now, today in the moment. I was so worried about the future of my garden stressing out that I'm late when all the while in reality it was the perfect day to be planting and everything was as it should have been. It was just my thoughts that gave me the idea that it isn't and I decided to believe it. I used to live in a frenzy like this on a daily basis. I am so thankful that I have been blessed to learn from others the different affects not believing and believing our thoughts can have on our lives.
Everything is as it should be. The beauty comes when we accept it and live in the now, fully alive.
There is nothing quite like the magic that happens in a fresh new day, especially when coming from a day where everything seemed to have been going a little bit off the wall. Today can be whatever I choose it to be.
I am finding this idea to be true more and more. I've heard it said; Our thoughts are recycled they come and they go. It is only when we believe and attach ourselves to our thoughts that we become those thoughts that we believe. We literally become the thoughts that we believe.
For example, yesterday I was working in the garden and the thought came to my head. "It's time to get everything transplanted into the garden because time is running out and it's getting late in the season, soon it'll be to late. I began to believe the thought. While it may be true that it's getting later in the planting season, what am I going to do about it, what can I do about it? After all it was the perfect day to be in the garden, planting. I just believed that I was late and needed to get in done quick!
There are two ways I can go at that moment the thought came. I can go into high gear mode and create a frenzy scene around me or I can put one foot in front of the other and enjoy the process, trusting that everything is just as it should be. I unconsciously decided to choose high gear mode, (this used to be my life daily, not so much anymore, but this way of doing things is still somewhat stuck in my subconscious mind to react this way, which is why I say I chose it unconsciously, it's like a program, it does what it has been programmed to do). Most of the day I was thinking things like I have to do this, I need to get that done, I need to get this done, my house is a mess it needs my attention, my kid's are hungry they need food, they are crying I need to spend time with them they need me. Everything and everyone was calling my name by the end of the day I was almost in tears! It was such a frustrating and stressful feeling! These are the exact words that came out of my mouth at Abe; You need me, the kids need me the garden needs me and I need myself and I can't do it all!!! I need to be with me and the garden right now and I need you to take the kids right now, I need some space. I was in a frenzy, I was loosing my cool, I was making everyone suffer including myself all because I chose to believe the thought that it is getting to late in the season and I need to fix it!! Fixing things in this way never works out well, it might get things somewhat done, but it also brings suffering. As the end of the day as the evening unfolded and the dust began to settle I began to come to my senses again I was beginning to see and understand the bigger picture and what had happened to me and I began seeing the results of my actions. The things that are most important, the one's I hold dearest in my heart were suffering because of the choice I made to believe the thought and then take the path I did because of believing it. As I sat there rocking my son to sleep at the end of the day I help him close to me realizing how much of the day I missed with him because of the frenzy I had been in. I was here but I was not present in the moment. In my scurry to fix things I had totally missed out on living in the now, today in the moment. I was so worried about the future of my garden stressing out that I'm late when all the while in reality it was the perfect day to be planting and everything was as it should have been. It was just my thoughts that gave me the idea that it isn't and I decided to believe it. I used to live in a frenzy like this on a daily basis. I am so thankful that I have been blessed to learn from others the different affects not believing and believing our thoughts can have on our lives.
Everything is as it should be. The beauty comes when we accept it and live in the now, fully alive.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Conditional vs Unconditional Love
Sweet Friendship, sweet love, with no expectations, just freely loving the other for who they are, it feels so right.
I have wondered what that might feel like and I had hoped to experience this kind of friendship with others in this lifetime. My chances of experiencing such a thing seemed rather slim to me. Over the years I have come across different people whom I longed to be their friend. Someone to confide in, someone to just share life with, with no expectations, just pure acceptance and connection. I would always be so disappointed when the friendship would wither away and it left me feeling so alone and like their was something wrong with me. This longing for a friend only to be left high and dry has made me curious as to why this happens.
One of my old habits was this, I always looked for a friend who was in the same religion as I. This is very common and totally OK. Most people gravitate towards those that think like they do. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that, it might just bite when either one or the other has a change in beliefs. This happened to me numerous times. This is called conditional love. Meaning your love for someone is based on certain conditions. This kind of love was the only kind of love I had experience with, my whole life. And I always wondered what unconditional love, shared in a friendship might feel like.
What I found for myself is that, not until I had dropped all my religious idea's and beliefs and learned to love myself unconditionally first was I then able to, even for a second, look at another human with unconditional love for them.
They key is this- Stop judging yourself and others and love what is. It is our conditioned mind that causes us all of the pain we have in this world. There is no harm in the world, it is the condition mind that creates all pain. For example, let's say I have a teenager who is rebelling towards me. They only reason I feel pain within myself is because of what I believe in my head. I believe the thought that my child is doing something wrong, whatever it might be and it causes me to suffer. What happens when I no longer believe the thought, my child is rebelling and doing something wrong? What do we know about what is wrong or right anyway? What happens when you drop the thought of, they are doing something wrong? Try it. Do you start to see and feel them more deeply when you drop all judgmental thoughts? Can you begin to see the beautiful person they are? That's unconditional love!
Oh my gosh, this practice has helped me so much. I learned it for Byron Katie. If you want to know more about it check out her website and YouTube
Channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/TheWorkofBK ----- http://www.byronkatie.com/
And so I began to practice this on myself and others. The results are amazing! This is one of the reasons I am falling deeper and deeper in love with the world and the people in it.
It's interesting how we are conditioned to judge everything and everyone and somehow we feel like we have to hang on to those ideas and judgment in order to save ourselves and our identity. It's a twisted belief and it doesn't work. It will do one thing and one thing for sure, it will cause you a lot of pain. If you want to be free from suffering, stop believing your thoughts and start questioning them. You will get so much peace and freedom and you will start knowing what unconditional love really feels like.
I have wondered what that might feel like and I had hoped to experience this kind of friendship with others in this lifetime. My chances of experiencing such a thing seemed rather slim to me. Over the years I have come across different people whom I longed to be their friend. Someone to confide in, someone to just share life with, with no expectations, just pure acceptance and connection. I would always be so disappointed when the friendship would wither away and it left me feeling so alone and like their was something wrong with me. This longing for a friend only to be left high and dry has made me curious as to why this happens.
One of my old habits was this, I always looked for a friend who was in the same religion as I. This is very common and totally OK. Most people gravitate towards those that think like they do. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that, it might just bite when either one or the other has a change in beliefs. This happened to me numerous times. This is called conditional love. Meaning your love for someone is based on certain conditions. This kind of love was the only kind of love I had experience with, my whole life. And I always wondered what unconditional love, shared in a friendship might feel like.
What I found for myself is that, not until I had dropped all my religious idea's and beliefs and learned to love myself unconditionally first was I then able to, even for a second, look at another human with unconditional love for them.
They key is this- Stop judging yourself and others and love what is. It is our conditioned mind that causes us all of the pain we have in this world. There is no harm in the world, it is the condition mind that creates all pain. For example, let's say I have a teenager who is rebelling towards me. They only reason I feel pain within myself is because of what I believe in my head. I believe the thought that my child is doing something wrong, whatever it might be and it causes me to suffer. What happens when I no longer believe the thought, my child is rebelling and doing something wrong? What do we know about what is wrong or right anyway? What happens when you drop the thought of, they are doing something wrong? Try it. Do you start to see and feel them more deeply when you drop all judgmental thoughts? Can you begin to see the beautiful person they are? That's unconditional love!
Oh my gosh, this practice has helped me so much. I learned it for Byron Katie. If you want to know more about it check out her website and YouTube
Channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/TheWorkofBK ----- http://www.byronkatie.com/
And so I began to practice this on myself and others. The results are amazing! This is one of the reasons I am falling deeper and deeper in love with the world and the people in it.
It's interesting how we are conditioned to judge everything and everyone and somehow we feel like we have to hang on to those ideas and judgment in order to save ourselves and our identity. It's a twisted belief and it doesn't work. It will do one thing and one thing for sure, it will cause you a lot of pain. If you want to be free from suffering, stop believing your thoughts and start questioning them. You will get so much peace and freedom and you will start knowing what unconditional love really feels like.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
What Is Home?
When you feel excited about being alive and about living this human experience you can know you are on the path that is right for you! It had been to long since I had felt this feeling and it feels like I'm home. This is the feeling of home. Home to me is no longer a place.
I have this memory- I was around the age of 13 when my family was traveling by Amtrak from the state of Washington to Wisconsin. In the waiting room in Spokane there was this older women sitting on the bench, beautiful women, she looked to be in her 60's, she had silver/white hair, I can almost picture her sweet face now. I was sitting beside her and asked her where she was going. She said she was going to Seattle, I don't even know if that was her home or not. I'll never forget the one thing she said, it has stuck with me ever since. I said said something along the lines of, "I bet you are ready to be home" and she just said very matter of factly, I am home, "home is where the heart is." That was 16 years ago. I believe she was an angle, maybe my Spirit Guide, I don't know. That statement has stuck with me to this day. I am beginning to see what she meant.
Home to me is a feeling, a state of mind, a feeling of connection- connection to oneself, to others and everything around me.
I am so glad to be home again! I had thought at one point that there was no chance in hell it would ever happen again on this side of eternity. I thought those days were long gone. We even have a name for it, "the good ole days" I am here to tell you they don't have to be called that. The reason we call them that is because we believe they can't happen again or that we can't ever feel that happy again, it's not true, unless we believe it to be. We can live the "good ole days" every day if we want to.
Ask yourself what was it that was so different back then? When you find what was the difference ask yourself, how can I get to a place of being and feeling this way again? This is not a couple hour job, maybe for some people, but it took me months to figure this out.
When we believe our thoughts we become them, when we question our thoughts we can become whatever we want to be. We are all able to live a life that makes us feel alive, no one is a victim of life, when life gets hard, look at the situation you are in and ask, what is there here, for me to learn? When you have the answer and have learned from it, be thankful for the experience and move on. Life is like a stream we can flow with it or fight against it. The choice is ours. I am learning/choosing to flow with it, take it for what it is and appreciate every second of it-
When we allow ourselves to feel everything and even question our feelings- the feelings move through our body rather than getting stuck inside of us, and then when we've learned what they came to teach us, they move on out. Now we are free to become what we came here to be.
My hope is that we can learn to embrace all the life has to offer so that we can create a better world for ourselves and our children. There is hope, so much hope. I am so grateful to experience life on Earth, it's beautiful- I see beauty everywhere, now.
I have this memory- I was around the age of 13 when my family was traveling by Amtrak from the state of Washington to Wisconsin. In the waiting room in Spokane there was this older women sitting on the bench, beautiful women, she looked to be in her 60's, she had silver/white hair, I can almost picture her sweet face now. I was sitting beside her and asked her where she was going. She said she was going to Seattle, I don't even know if that was her home or not. I'll never forget the one thing she said, it has stuck with me ever since. I said said something along the lines of, "I bet you are ready to be home" and she just said very matter of factly, I am home, "home is where the heart is." That was 16 years ago. I believe she was an angle, maybe my Spirit Guide, I don't know. That statement has stuck with me to this day. I am beginning to see what she meant.
Home to me is a feeling, a state of mind, a feeling of connection- connection to oneself, to others and everything around me.
I am so glad to be home again! I had thought at one point that there was no chance in hell it would ever happen again on this side of eternity. I thought those days were long gone. We even have a name for it, "the good ole days" I am here to tell you they don't have to be called that. The reason we call them that is because we believe they can't happen again or that we can't ever feel that happy again, it's not true, unless we believe it to be. We can live the "good ole days" every day if we want to.
Ask yourself what was it that was so different back then? When you find what was the difference ask yourself, how can I get to a place of being and feeling this way again? This is not a couple hour job, maybe for some people, but it took me months to figure this out.
When we believe our thoughts we become them, when we question our thoughts we can become whatever we want to be. We are all able to live a life that makes us feel alive, no one is a victim of life, when life gets hard, look at the situation you are in and ask, what is there here, for me to learn? When you have the answer and have learned from it, be thankful for the experience and move on. Life is like a stream we can flow with it or fight against it. The choice is ours. I am learning/choosing to flow with it, take it for what it is and appreciate every second of it-
When we allow ourselves to feel everything and even question our feelings- the feelings move through our body rather than getting stuck inside of us, and then when we've learned what they came to teach us, they move on out. Now we are free to become what we came here to be.
My hope is that we can learn to embrace all the life has to offer so that we can create a better world for ourselves and our children. There is hope, so much hope. I am so grateful to experience life on Earth, it's beautiful- I see beauty everywhere, now.
Saturday, May 21, 2016
As Within, So Without
I want to be passionate about the things I do. I can feel that I am becoming more and more passionate about seeing people become their best version. It makes me feel alive as I watch it happen. I want to share all that I know with whomever wants to hear so they might feel a bit of hope as they continue their journey towards freedom and peace. I think it is for the love of peace that people are coming to know themselves. We are living in a time where, peace, to many people can seem like a foreign idea. Not very many people I know, know the feeling of peace. I wonder if that's why the world seems to be in chaos? Because the inner of people reflects on the outside world around them. Whatever we feel inside we create that atmosphere around us. This is one reason I want to be at peace within myself and help others find peace within themselves. Because if it is true that we create that which we feel within, then if we want to see peace around us we must first be at peace within ourselves before it can ever happen around us.
I have noticed this in my own life. Especially in my own home. When I am at peace with myself I find that my house that I live in, what we call "our home" becomes a haven of rest and peace for souls who enter. I find also that when I am at peace within myself and a situation arises in which my children are having a hard time with their emotions, it is much easier for me to stay calm and walk them through there feelings, rather than rising to the same level of frustration and loosing control of my own cool. Parenting has definitely put me to the test in every way, I am so grateful to be learning what I am learning about emotions and feelings now, while my children are still young. I feel it will help them to get a good start in life.
I am convinced that we can create whatever we want to by by first feeling it within ourselves. It's one of the most amazing things I've learned thus far! As I learn it more, I fall deeper and deeper in love with the world around me. Unknowingly, a year ago I was creating the complete opposite of what I am today. Ha! If you know me at all you will know what I mean by that. Thank God, I have come out of the mindset I was in. I was creating nothing but war. I was at war within myself and creating it all around me. Now that mindset has been replaced by a better, more loving one, and the world looks completely different to me now. I hope for all people to come to know peace within themselves. It can change your world and bring peace to community's and beyond. It's a beautiful thing! Peace!
I have noticed this in my own life. Especially in my own home. When I am at peace with myself I find that my house that I live in, what we call "our home" becomes a haven of rest and peace for souls who enter. I find also that when I am at peace within myself and a situation arises in which my children are having a hard time with their emotions, it is much easier for me to stay calm and walk them through there feelings, rather than rising to the same level of frustration and loosing control of my own cool. Parenting has definitely put me to the test in every way, I am so grateful to be learning what I am learning about emotions and feelings now, while my children are still young. I feel it will help them to get a good start in life.
I am convinced that we can create whatever we want to by by first feeling it within ourselves. It's one of the most amazing things I've learned thus far! As I learn it more, I fall deeper and deeper in love with the world around me. Unknowingly, a year ago I was creating the complete opposite of what I am today. Ha! If you know me at all you will know what I mean by that. Thank God, I have come out of the mindset I was in. I was creating nothing but war. I was at war within myself and creating it all around me. Now that mindset has been replaced by a better, more loving one, and the world looks completely different to me now. I hope for all people to come to know peace within themselves. It can change your world and bring peace to community's and beyond. It's a beautiful thing! Peace!
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