Sweet Friendship, sweet love, with no expectations, just freely loving the other for who they are, it feels so right.
I have wondered what that might feel like and I had hoped to experience this kind of friendship with others in this lifetime. My chances of experiencing such a thing seemed rather slim to me. Over the years I have come across different people whom I longed to be their friend. Someone to confide in, someone to just share life with, with no expectations, just pure acceptance and connection. I would always be so disappointed when the friendship would wither away and it left me feeling so alone and like their was something wrong with me. This longing for a friend only to be left high and dry has made me curious as to why this happens.
One of my old habits was this, I always looked for a friend who was in the same religion as I. This is very common and totally OK. Most people gravitate towards those that think like they do. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that, it might just bite when either one or the other has a change in beliefs. This happened to me numerous times. This is called conditional love. Meaning your love for someone is based on certain conditions. This kind of love was the only kind of love I had experience with, my whole life. And I always wondered what unconditional love, shared in a friendship might feel like.
What I found for myself is that, not until I had dropped all my religious idea's and beliefs and learned to love myself unconditionally first was I then able to, even for a second, look at another human with unconditional love for them.
They key is this- Stop judging yourself and others and love what is. It is our conditioned mind that causes us all of the pain we have in this world. There is no harm in the world, it is the condition mind that creates all pain. For example, let's say I have a teenager who is rebelling towards me. They only reason I feel pain within myself is because of what I believe in my head. I believe the thought that my child is doing something wrong, whatever it might be and it causes me to suffer. What happens when I no longer believe the thought, my child is rebelling and doing something wrong? What do we know about what is wrong or right anyway? What happens when you drop the thought of, they are doing something wrong? Try it. Do you start to see and feel them more deeply when you drop all judgmental thoughts? Can you begin to see the beautiful person they are? That's unconditional love!
Oh my gosh, this practice has helped me so much. I learned it for Byron Katie. If you want to know more about it check out her website and YouTube
Channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/TheWorkofBK ----- http://www.byronkatie.com/
And so I began to practice this on myself and others. The results are amazing! This is one of the reasons I am falling deeper and deeper in love with the world and the people in it.
It's interesting how we are conditioned to judge everything and everyone and somehow we feel like we have to hang on to those ideas and judgment in order to save ourselves and our identity. It's a twisted belief and it doesn't work. It will do one thing and one thing for sure, it will cause you a lot of pain. If you want to be free from suffering, stop believing your thoughts and start questioning them. You will get so much peace and freedom and you will start knowing what unconditional love really feels like.
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